Titanic(the True Story)

Jack:

Aw, I am a canny lad, wot sealed upawn the awsheeon we-ave,
A loost me hairt, ah suppawse ye mart seagh,
Wan ah mit oop wi a bonny lass, shi wor pawe(t)ry in mawsheeon,
Orl serfisticated leek, she stawel mi hairt aweeah.

Rose:

Altheugh one would heff tew seay,
One lecks the sewcial greyces,
One's northern charm swept ones feet right awf the grind,
One gawt one pissed on Newcastle Brine, and blewing awf in people's faeces,
And but for one, one would hev surely jumped awf the bewt and drined.

Jack:

Neeargh, far, ah've haired yer a reeal stor
Althoagh yi doo-ant aif rabbit awan
It's noo-agh joo-aak, ah noo-ah this boo-at woo-ant floo-at
An ah suppo-ase yi dooant knoo-agh wee-ar yi goona goo-ah frum heeargh.

Aw yi wor tae be wed, tae these pawsh fella
Wi allis sawche-ull steatews leek,
An ah'm joost a wee laddie from the Tyne

Rose

Which tyne is thet, Jack? Guildford?

Does one mean that awful stockbrewker chappie,
Some assewciate of mater's
One's never gewing tew have it awf or gettum dine

Near, far, one's heard one's a real star,
Althew one is inclined tew rabbit awn
It's new jewk , one knews this bewt wewn't flewt,
And one must suppewse one doesn't knew where one's gewing to gew from
heargh.

Well, Jack, one must admit one has thoroughly enjoyed one's relationship,
even thew one's backgrind isn't from the hewm kynties and even thew one
hasn't been able to make ite a single thing one's said throughite the hewel
experience, but one must suppose one can't help coming from somewhere
northern and smelly, and it was offley nice of one to let one have priority for
the flewting awbject

Oh well, it looks like one's abite to drine nigh, but don't be dine, I'm, sure one
will enjoy relating the hewel experience when one is on one's horse with ones
fiancé. It's been absolutely super, Jack and, well, as one has probably
guessed, one's completely maird actually.


It's new jewk , one knews this bewt wewn't flewt,
And one must suppewse one doesn't knew where one's gewing to gew from
heargh.


Rawaz, just beefawr ah gooagh……. A wawn't yita knoo-agh

Just sawaz yi knoo leek…..

(just swalloawed a blo-agh -ter)

Mi knackers r froo-a-zen