Change Your Partners. (Aug 2005)

Do you Leanne take Wayne-"Wicked-Innit"
To text each other till you use up your minutes
With this ringtone I thee wed
Who said that romance was dead
Bun in the oven, pig at the trough
You said you effing loved me
And now you've buggered off.

Just sixteen when I dropped my third
Offspring of some spotty nerd
Knickers up and down, sprogs fast and thick
Might as well get fitted with a zip,
Dad's done a bunk as is their wont
Now you see them now you don't

Change your partners one, two three
Exit Wayne, enter Lee
Change your partners round you go
Where's your father, I don't know
Hiss DNA will be love's token
May the cycle be unbroken.

Give your kids those role model slobs,
Stuff that pizza down their gobs.
Sit your children on your lap,
Fill their brains with American crap
AS "Listen with Mother" bites the dust
Just feed them tales of zombie lust.

Chainsmoke, wear bling, chew that gum,
Down those breezers, flash your bum,
Booze it,lose it, "watch it, you"
Then eff and blind in a pile of spew
Off to the costa, don't give a shit,
Laid by Mario, jammy git.

Change your partners , two three four
Exit Lee, enter Jordan..

Let those burgers call the tune
Expand till you're like a balloon,
Flab on your belly button, flab on your thighs,
Already a pudding before you're twenty five,
Rings through his nose, tattoes on his knackers
Lets's strew the world with MacDonald's wrappers.

Grab those benefits, know your rights,
Let your dog crap where it likes.
Those celebritiess are like Greek Gods
In the glossy magazines or on the box,
With a Nokia your brains to fry,
Then paint the town like Celtic tribes.

Change your partners three four five.
Exit Jordan, Craig's arrived..

And so we take the centre stage
We're Thatcher's children come of age,
Never went much on the education, just
Gimme, gimme, gimme that gratification,
But I'd be the Einstein of the class
If me brain were the size of me mouth and me arse.

So dumb it on down, dumb it down to me,
Reality chat show on TV
He's a really nice boy, they won't give 'im a chance
And we all like the smell of our own farts like…
Che and Churchill and Chanel and Snanette and Shinead and and Shaniece and
Chevrolet and Nectarine and Baguette and Moonchild and Yellow and Cyan and
Magenta and Little Boob Job and…

Change your partners four, five, six
Exit Craig, Daryll 'll fix it,
Change your partners, five, six, seven
Exit Daryll, enter Stefan,
Change your partners, six, seven, eight,
Exit Stefan, enter Stefan's mate,
Change your partners, seven, eight nine,
Exit Stefan's mate, enter rotten swine,
Change your partners, eight, nine, ten,
Exit Rotten swine, Wayne's back again,
His DNA will be love's token…